Blackberries and BA

When I came back to my blog at work today, I found this old list I had written while writing my BA, presumably of things that were making me happy at the time:
blackberries

mint tea

wilted purple pansy

going on 16 pages single-spaced!

Today I can make a new one:
a fixed bike with a comfy new seat
my clean room
a clean kitchen floor
the woman I met outside Bonjour Bakery who let me pet her American Eskimo dogs who were almost as cute as my dog back home
my flannel shirt
having someone take care of me when I'm sick
my friends from Chapin coming to visit
flowered binder clips to hold together old class notes
the sudden full foliage in Hyde Park

Libraries

I went to the Reg today to get fun books, including one book called Libraries of photos by Candida Hofer with a funny introductory essay by Umberto Eco. I guess it's only funny if you're into that kind of thing, but I am.

The pictures are beautiful, and make me almost want to do research just so I can go spend more time in Harper or the oft-neglected Eckhart math library. Many of these libraries are in Europe and look like cathedrals.

I missed libraries very much while I was in Egypt, as there was simply no good place to study. Coffee shops are ridiculously loud with hovering waiters, public places are way too public, and my flat was generally cold and quiet. I did sneak my way into the AUC Special Collections library, housed in an old colonial mansion. I had to fake an AUC student number, but no one checked up on me. It is a lovely and silent old building (reading room pictured), with a few quiet students and a lovely green yard out back. I only went there once (the fact that I wasn't authorized to be there was a bit of a deterrent) but it was a great place to catch my breath after the exhaustion of downtown. I liked the AUC courtyard and bookstore a lot, and had no trouble getting in there, but while it was a nice place to sit or to meet friends, it was no library. One day I went to the public library deep in Zamalek. It is in a huge 4 story mansion, backing up to the Nile on the east side of the island, almost to the north tip of the island. I only found it because it was listed on my AUC map book as "Great Cairo Library." By the time I got there it was almost closed, but I told the guy at the desk that I just wanted to look around. It didn't seem to have a lot of books, but it had a labyrinth of tiny study rooms, towers, and back staircases. It was exactly what I was looking for, but it closed at 4. How ridiculous. Another day, I convinced Monty, the Australian who was always in the ILI computer lab with me after class, to come with me to the British Consulate library. It is a smooth and modern facility, with glorious English-language books and magazines, and even free computer access. But again you need membership, which costs a lot. We talked our way in for the first time, and spent a lovely hour or so on a rainy afternoon luxuriating in its warm, literary familiarity.

December

Tomorrow it isn't supposed to get over 30 degrees, with a constant windchill of about 10 degrees. This is really not ok with me, so I am going to the greenhouse at Lincoln Park Zoo to pretend that I am in the tropics, or South Carolina. I think greenhouses are going to become a major coping strategy this winter. I am afraid of this winter, because it is my first Chicago winter without radiators to curl up to. It snowed yesterday, which I was pretty excited about. I keep ending sentences with prepositions. So why don't I start one with a conjunction, and get back to studying for tomorrow morning's Islamic Civ final ?

Last Day of Classes and Work

Today Lila and I celebrated our last day of college classes by jumping around the kitchen and shrieking before breakfast. I victoriously concluded my day by writing notes to myself during African Civ and giggling to Kim during Islamic Civ. High fives all around.

Last night, John K was so kind as to drive me up to Andersonville so I could go to the quarterly dinner held by Kim, the Norwegian teacher. I played with her kid and her dogs, ate some very tasty food, and hung out with the death metal kids. I was surprised at the number of people there who were also taking ancient Near Eastern languages--Rob and Ryan, the death metal kids from my old class, are taking Hittite, a grad student was taking whatever it is that Zorastrian texts were written in, someone else was taking hieroglyphics. There seemed to be a lot of overlap between people drawn to Norwegian and people interested in the ancient Middle East. Very strange. Perhaps we can just conclude that people who take Norwegian are fascinating people with great linguistic capacities.

Today was also my last day of work at the Blue Gargoyle. The kids were touchingly sad to find that out, even though Arion sulked for quite awhile after I had to take her outside and give her the "you WILL listen to us when we tell you not to do something" talk. Today we talked about what year we were born. I was shocked that some of them were born in 2001. That seems absurdly recent, and it is especially impressive that in such a short time they had developed very distinct personalities. I know it sounds obvious, but for some reason it seems remarkable how much kids achieve in 6 years or so. I mean, 6 years ago I was more or less the same size I am now, and Arion, for example, was an infant! Such progress!

After we went outside we played chicken fights, and by "we" I mean, Keith started it. We each had a kid on our backs, and would sortof run at each other, the kids' legs kicking away. Probably not the most responsible idea ever, but really fun. No one got hurt anyway, and hopefully they won't tell their parents.

I'm kindof sad to be leaving. They are so interesting. Although I won't miss having to yell at them, and the noise and chaos, and a distinct lack of respect for authority (ahem, Danasha, Kenija, Rikaya, Kamariah), whining, sulking, and throwing fits. I will miss the constant comments on my hair length ("you cut your hair!"), my sticking-up eyebrows, and my imaginary relationship with any male tutor("ew, you drank off the same drink! are you dating?"). I might not miss Taylor launching herself on me or picking me up against my will (the kid is 9 and can carry me around), but I will miss all the hugs. Today we determined, to the astonishment of all, that my hands are the same size as the 9-year-olds Muhibat and Taylor. Jamie is clingy but it's kindof sweet, until you have to practically sit on her to make her do her homework. The era of me obsessing over their personalities and waking up with disciplinary ideas is over. I told them I'd be back to visit, and I think I'll probably volunteer as a private tutor.

Chicago

Today I thought I'd resurrect this blog, because some of my friends have lovely blogs I'd like to figure out how to link to, and because it's been almost a year since I left for Egypt and I'm feeling the wanderlust again.

I know that lust is bad, according to the church, but what about wanderlust? I know it's a cute and stupid pun, but think about it: I want what I can't have, isn't that coveting? Moving to a new and exciting place every few months, as I've done for the past year, is a way to escape from my problems and relationships. I freely admit that I went to Wyoming to get away from people. I can reinvent myself in every place, leading to a lack of honesty with myself and the temptation to do bad things that I wouldn't ordinarily just for the "experience." I wouldn't subject a family to this many moves, so it's not a long-term solution. I tend to lose touch with people more quickly, thus weakening my ability to create meaningful relationships. But, I love it. I'm not planning to stop traveling, although I do plan to stay in Chicago at least for this academic year. I'm just sayin.

Today I had a very encouraging meeting with my college adviser, so encouraging that I may never have to talk to her again. She cleared me for taking a leave of absence for winter and spring, confirmed that I've completed all graduation requirements, and asked about future plans. She seemed impressed by the Wyoming story, and she said that it was one of the experiences I'll probably remember forever and generally a more excellent way to spend my summer than some "career-minded" internship that I wouldn't enjoy. She said that the fact that I don't know what I'll do next year is totally fine, and the fact that I am ok with not knowing shows maturity. She also seemed relieved that I did not stress about picking my major (when asked how I got on track with my major so quickly, I told her that I realized that I was half-way there during my second year and decided just to finish) and about getting honors. It seemed to me that she was fed up with uptight UofC students who obsess over everything, and was happy to find someone who thinks like she does. She says that, especially for me, who is not applying to grad school, most of these things don't really matter. I'll probably have many jobs and do many things, perhaps I'll even decide to go to grad school later, perhaps I won't. I might not get a job in my field, and that's fine. I won't remember my GPA or my grades a few years from now. It was nice to hear this affirmation of my general assumption that freaking out about all this is completely unnecessary. Added bonus: she grew up in Columbia, SC. And, she called her husband who might have an opening in his firm where I could perhaps work in the winter.

It was especially nice to have this conversation at a time when everyone I know is completely beserk over post-graduation options. Grad school, no grad school, where to live, where to work, paying back loans, health insurance! I suppose some people are more relaxed, and realize that things will work themselves out, but I think a lot of people are dazzled by the options spread before them. Fortunately, I feel less pressure than even choosing a college, because whatever I choose now can be changed if I don't like it, with less hassle and emotional trouble than transferring colleges. And also college is so formative, and I knew that wherever I chose would significantly shape my interests, my perceptions, my options, and my perspective.

But it's not like I'm not thinking about it. It's hard not to, when the first thing any relative said to me when I went home for Thanksgiving was "what are you doing next year?" Today (in class, shame on me) I made a list of "cool things to do next quarter," the blessed quarter when I am not taking classes. It's mostly dream options, but also a way for me to think of what I would like to do, not what I think I should do. The UofC says I should want to do something really intense, high-powered, and important. Or at least something in my field. I've thought about those things too--journalism, international NGOs like Human Rights Watch, some sort of Middle East analyst/consultant/professional thinker, the CIA, even law school. But, the more I think about it, the less attractive those sound, although I don't want to rule them out for the future. Unfortunately for me and my student loans, what sounds most attractive does not involve a lot of money, at least not at first.

And now, off to my old Norwegian teacher's house in Andersonville for dinner.

About to Leave

To anyone who is still tenaciously checking this blog: I haven't written much because my life here started to be normal and not something that I needed to update anyone about. Also, I felt awkward telling about people that I met here, it seemed a bit like an invasion of privacy.

But, I am going home in 5 days !! and I'm actually quite nervous about it. I think I am not ready for some of the changes at home, and I feel this pressure to do so much here before I leave, especially because if/when I come back, almost all my friends here will be gone. I don't the fact that now that I've gotten all nice and settled, its time to leave. On Friday I'll be going to Athens to meet my cousin for a few days and then to Al Ain in the Emirates to stay with some of my parent's friends for a few days, and then back to Chicago. I get to register for classes today (Monday), which I'm pretty excited about, but I'm not looking forward to having to do real school instead of just chilling with my tutor.

Last night, I had a few people over and we made borscht and potato latkes, and salad and fruit salad and iced coffee and it was much fun, a little Russia in Cairo. This week I have made plans for almost every part of every day, to see all the people I've been meaning to hang out with, but suddenly it has become urgent. But "making plans" is a very fluid thing here. I went to Sudanese church yesterday with my friend Eman. She said, church starts at 12, so meet me around 12:30 and we'll go over. I showed up at 1 (whoops) and she had guests, so I went with her husband around 2 and she showed up around 2:30 when it was over. But, I wish I was Sudanese.

And, I'm running late.

Boring Details and New Friends

I'm back in the school's computer lab, and its raining outside! It's rained twice now in the past couple days, which seems special to me since Egypt is supposedly a desert and all that. I also like it because after it rains the air is clear and pretty, as opposed to before the rain, when it is overcast and smoggy. We've all been complaining about the cold, but then realizing that we are being babies, when we compare what we wear here to the amount of cold-insulating clothing that most of us wear at home. I've met a lot of midwesterners here, suprisingly, and the Brits know a bit about cold too.

In other boring news, I'm sick. I got a cold, and I feel like I'm underwater. Its nasty.

But I got it from some cool people. In my last post I mentioned that I was going with a Swedish guy to Khan al-Khalili. We had a pretty good time, although I don't like the touristy-ness, and I really hate getting badgered to buy things while I'm walking down the street. I bought a rat trap and had one side taken off, and then rigged it up with a wire coat hanger to hang in my shower as a holder for shampoo and stuff. The various guys who were a part of this process thought I was nuts. I had some sugarcane juice, its pretty good stuff. Then Edward the Swede got a call from a friend inviting him to dinner, so we went to his friend's flat where he made us a ton of food. I learned how to play backgammon (boring) and ate with Gazy (the Texan-of-Palestinian-descent who can cook), Edward, and Graham (aka Harvard--he goes to Harvard and hates it, so I make fun of him). Then Sarah came (a friend of Gazy and Graham, an American also), and we all went to some guy's party, where there were a lot of AUC guys, and maybe 2 other girls. A bit awkward. Sarah and I were going home, but she had forgotten her key, so she stayed in my apartment. It was very convenient since my roommate was out of town for a long weekend and I get lonely. She's really cool, I felt very quickly at ease with her.

The next day I woke up with a nasty stomachace, plus I was really tired from having stayed up til 3 the night before. So, I went back to sleep. After awhile I got my lazy self moving and went to meet Kezia, and we went to Maadi to teach English. It was the first class I taught by myself, and only my second time going. English is a very confusing language, I realize. And the different accents don't help at all. My students don't like that I say "a pencil" like "uh pencil" and Kezia says it with a long a. We have fun though. The lessons are kindof silly sometimes: "Is this your hair? No, this is my hair?" There are about 15 of them, mostly men, all Sudanese refugees. The textbook we use has some awkward situations, like having the teacher ask the class if they have a CD player, a pager, an electronic address book, etc. I had to explain what a lot of those meant, as none of us have them. I don't think there is a book "English for Refugees". I find it a bit uncomfortable that they introduce themselves as a refugee. It sounds like such a desperate word, but it is just life. A lot of them have been in Cairo for years. A few that I talked to are waiting for a visa to Australia or other "western" countries. I haven't talked to anyone who's planning on going back to Sudan. The class is organized by Refuge Egypt, which is run by the Episcopal Church in Zamalek, All Saints. Its a really cool place on the church grounds: there is a sortof cafe outside, there are people and kids everywhere, and it just seems very welcoming and happy. There's African music playing in the office where Kezia works. Refuge Egypt has a self-sustaining handicrafts business, Tukul Crafts. Its very successful, and I want to go check out some of their products tomorrow when I go to the church to pick up Kezia. Here is the website for Tukul Crafts, and I'm sure you can find more info about Refuge Egypt if you look around the site: http://www.refuge-egypt.org/tukul/index.shtml

I also learned from my roommate about a similar program in Mokattam, the slum that I visited last summer. She (Lauren, my roommate) and some friends go visit a family there every week, and there is a business that provides jobs for kids. They make all sorts of products, mostly out of reclaimed fabric, I think. I want to check that out too.

On Friday I went to church in Maadi and had an excellent hamburger at a restaurant with Marie (my roommate from the first week), her friend Roxanna, and Kezia. We are planning a movie night. Back at home, I went to a coffee shop with Graham, Sarah, Gazy, and some of their friends, but I was really tired and zoned out. So I went back and took a nap. That night we went over to Sarah's flat and had Shabbat-she's Jewish. It was very tasty, pasta and garlic bread and fruit and cheese and wine and salad and chocolate. Then, after much debate, we went to Gazy's and watched an old Egyptian movie. We looked out his window and saw the same building as shown in the film, only now its much dirtier. Cairo in the 70s was apparantly very clean and modern, it didn't look very crowded, and women wore short skirts. So much has changed (except the buildings and cabs, they've just gotten older). Then we watched Syriana. The problem was that parts of the movie are in Arabic and Urdu (I think) but we only had Arabic subtitles, so we picked out what we could and were in a bit of a fog. It didn't help that it finished at 4:30. We were tired, and Gazy offered to let Sarah and I sleep in his bed while he moved to the couch, but he didn't have enough blankets and we felt bad about this situation, plus, it would be a pain to explain to the bowab (doorman and general busybody) in the morning why two girls had spent the night, so we went home. So, again, Sarah spent the night, and I went to bed late. Sarah and Gazy had been sick, and I think it was them that gave me my cold. But, I had a lot of fun.

Saturday I went to the supermarket, and to my friendly neighborhood fruit stand and tiny grocery store, and practiced Arabic, and improved my apartment. It is pretty awesome, Sarah says that after visiting it she became a bit dissatisfied with her own (huge, but sortof lonely) apartment. She says mine is "bohemian, in a leaky bathroom sort of way." Its kindof small, but it doesn't seem cramped. My roommate, Lauren, is very cool, although I haven't seen a lot of her. She was in Siwa for a long weekend, and just left again for Israel/Palestine. She went to a Christian college in the states, and now she is taking Arabic and working for a non-profit while she figures out what she wants to do with her life (besides becoming a "rad" old woman eventually and opening a hostel in the south of France). She is also very easy to get along with, and I feel is one of the answers to prayer for a roommate that can also be a good friend. Christine, from the old apartment, also became a friend. I saw her the other day as I was walking past her house, and we made plans: borscht night, going to the 2.50 LE store (like the Dollar Store, but less than 50 cents), going to see the scandalous/dark play her friend wrote.

Anyway, the flat has its issues (sketchy electricity in the living room, plumbing issues that are being fixed, some ants that I have dealt with, a toilet seat disconnect that I also fixed, and a few other things that took some getting used to). But on the whole, I like it a lot. K&G apartments have got nothing on Cairo in terms of quirkiness. It has heat, and hot water in the kitchen, which are improvements on the old place. It also can handle it if you flush toilet paper, which I understand is not a given. But the outlets in the living room shut off occasionally and have to be reset with a switch in the wall, there is hardly any kitchen storage (we keep pans and food items and bowls and stuff in the hutch in the living room), the shower leaks (but its getting fixed on Saturday), and the elevator door only shuts if you give it a bit of help (only on our floor, though, and only one of the elevators--there are 2, but only one works at a time). Its nice to have the lift, since I'm on the 9th floor. My room has an amazing view, east towards the river. The sun comes pouring in in the mornings. I can see Cairo tower, some buildings downtown, some palm trees directly below, and Mokattam hill in the distance. There are very pretty sunrises, and its fairly quiet becuase we are so high up. I like it a lot.

Saturday evening I went on a felucca ride on the Nile with Busayo and her friends. The boats are pretty small, it was just the 7 of us. They sail you up and down the river for an hour for a very reasonable price, once you bargain a little bit. It was a very nice time, we ate some Nigerian chicken and rice, along with lots of other food, and huddled under blankets, and looked at the city lights from the river. They are a lot of fun. Then we went to the flat of a guy that one of them had met, and I looked at his pictures of North Carolina mountains, which was nice.

On Sunday I went shopping for a little bit with Lauren, who needed sweaters for Israel, but then I went to the Cairo International Book Fair with Marissa. I met her outside the Mugamma downtown, which is this huge Soviet-bloc building full of terrifying beurocracy. I'll have to go in a few days to renew my visa, which I am not looking forward to. The book fair is like the state fair, only dirtier, and devoted to selling books (and random crap). I heard there would be cheap English books, but either we couldn't find them or there weren't very many. I did get some cool posters (farm animals in Arabic, anyone?). I used the nastiest bathroom I have ever used, which is saying quite a bit. The UofC bookworm in me was thrilled to see that the main attraction was halls and halls and halls of books. I also got interviewed randomly for Nile TV (stupid questions, and even stupider answers), but I didn't see it aired. Getting back was a bit of a hassle, we took a bus to downtown on the directions of a helpful guy (wow, an Egyptian guy who offers directions and doesn't offer any harrassment in addition!), and met an Egyptian man who had been living in Canada on the bus. He was equally nice, and tried to help us find a microbus back to our nieghborhood. But there was no direct one, so we took a cab. We still saved a good bit of money, and would have saved more had the taxi driver not cheated us. Getting off the bus we had to squeeze past 2 guys who were getting in a fight over something (read: nothing). That seems to be a fairly common occurance--generally everyone is polite, so that life in such a dense city can go smoothly, but every once in awhile there is a pointless, and very public, violent fight that everyone enjoys watching. When I got back, Lauren had a bunch of friends over, including Barrett and Andrew, who introduced me to her. I hadn't seen them since I had met them at a small group for church over a week ago, although Andrew and I had made plans that fell through several times. It was actually very amazing that I met them (and thus Lauren), since they don't go to that group often, and it was my first time too, as well as Andrew's. We were going to watch the Super Bowl, but it started at 1 am and I think the sports cafe they were thinking of going to actually didn't show it. I started to feel sicker, so I went to bed early, but I hear the Bears lost. Too bad, Chicago. One of my goals here is to know more about real futbol. The Nigerians know all about the current standings in the African cup, and I was completely in the dark.

Anyway, they're kicking me out of the lab. Ma salaama!