I'm Afraid, I'm Afraid!

I'm moving! I found a place. Things fell through with my dear friend with whom I was going to find a two-bedroom for the summer, so I looked alone for rooms. I found a ridiculously cheap room in a beautiful three-bedroom in Pilsen, where I worked last year. I know the neighborhood well from working there, and while it's not the most hip neighborhood, it's hardly at all gentrified, which is exciting, and also a little scary. My beloved neighborhood is green and lush and rich and gorgeous, with some cheap-ish student housing thrown into the mix. This neighborhood is Mexican and urban and (a lot) grittier. So I'm living the bohemian dream, I guess: cheap cheap cheap rent, hipster stranger roommates, working-class neighborhood, vintage building.

I'm terrified. Not of what could happen (you can get mugged anywhere, even friends can turn out to be annoying roommates) but of... newness, of change, of losing my intimacy with my neighborhood and having lots of friends right down the street. I think it's the alone, cut-loose feeling that scares me the most. And moving away from the lush green beauty that is my neighborhood. I took a whole slew of pictures of flowers one summer in my neighborhood, this rose is one of a profusion.

But, change causes growth, right? I think I need to re-read the Unbearable Lightness of Being, by Milan Kundera, like Jane posted about the other day. When I first read it I was a little too horrified by the main character's infidelities to care about what was being said philosophically. I also tend to turn away too quickly from a philosophy that seems existential enough to give up on striving to be a better person. But, I the questions, as Jane poses them, really resonated with me: "Should life be light or heavy? Should we pursue untethered freedom or bind ourselves to one another and to place? And can we know which is better when we have only one shot at it?" What a thought for a moving day.

Spring Fever, New Orleans Edition

"It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!"
-Mark Twain

So.. all that I was saying about accepting what I'm given and being ok with winter? Well, I went to New Orleans for a visit last week and it shot all those high-minded plans all to hell. New Orleans was warm and beautiful, and I was less than pleased to come back to a chilly, rainy, gray Chicago. I still love Chicago, really, I do, but am starting to think that it might not be so bad to live in a place that makes me happy.

We biked around the Crescent City, and I was continually just overwhelmed by how gorgeous everything was. Azaleas blooming really gratuitously, beautiful old homes, flowers and sunshine, morning coffee on balconies and a glass of wine outside in the evenings. The plants are familiar to me, but even more tropical and gorgeous, so it has the relaxing quality of going home, but it's also a city with a lot of cool things going on, indie shows, coffee shops, things I thought I would give up if I left the big city. I have some big decisions to make coming up, so any input would be welcome, especially if you know New Orleans!

Banner I Made + That of a Swede

Sometime last year, when I was made aware of the trendy-trend of bunting/banners/pennants, I decided to make some for myself. I was working at a library at the time, and we tied up the books that were starting to fall apart with cotton cord that was much like seam binding. It was either white or sortof red, and when we took it off a book, most people threw it away. Of course, I found that unacceptable and started squirrelling away pieces of the red, and a few of the white. So anyway I had amassed quite a bit, and used it to make my bunting. For the paper, I used a piece of pink construction paper, a grocery list on green lined paper, the yellow wrapper from some soap my boyfriend bought in Chinatown, and the blue wrapper from a candle I was given for Christmas. Hooray for recycling!

I hung it in my bathroom in my old apartment, and put it up also in my new one in the weird space under the stairs. It's so hard to take pictures of the bathroom: no natural light, and it's so small that I was up against the wall just to get in this narrow angle. You can also see my orange mini suitcase I bought at my grandma's thrift store (she actually volunteers at a fantastic thrift store run by her church: it runs in the family, you see), and a picture frame with three photos of my family all mashed together.
And, tacked on to the end, this much-better-lit picture from Sandra at Niotillfem. She has a lovely blog full of her own pictures of her life in Sweden. I love blogs that are all original content, and hers is great because Sweden in the summer seems like such a wonderful time, all kinds of boating and parties and drinking in parks, and she and her friends are so retro and stylish, and that Sebastian is a hottie (I think he's married, though). It's in Swedish and google translate is charmingly off, but Swedish is so close to English you can really hit the high points anyway.

But my point was, I like her room! The bunting and suitcase are cute; the rug is especially great; the dress hanging on the wall is something I will be doing more of next year without a closet (I see it in a lot of "styled" photographs but I think it would be a nice way to actually store my nicest dress or two); and the shelf above the bed with photos, art, and books is something I'd like to do in my new space-challenged room.

Been in the Lowlands too Long

These pictures are some crappy ones we took with a disposable camera in Lucedale, MS. I'll just look at them and listen to Gillian Welsh. I miss the south so much!

A Southern Belle?

Is it weird that when I see these images, I don't even look at the model, striking though she is? I look at the light coming in the windows, the spanish moss hanging from magnolias, tired old boards, green filtered through humid air. I really miss the South! I went to Mississippi for spring break, and if I can get together some photos that aren't lame, I'll post them.

This is Tao Okamoto by Camilla Akrans for Vogue China April 2010, found here, via Aubrey Road, which I found in turn by Ill Seen, Ill Said. I guess I want to know: is this model Japanese, judging by her name? Yes, says Wikipedia. Is her height, pale skin and hair, and rather European features the beauty standard in China? I really hope not, as gorgeous as she is. Turns out they made her blonde for this editorial only, she's been in Japanese, Russian, American, and French Vogue too. And she's not even as tall as me (but giant in Japan)! I guess I was just weirded out at this very American cultural reference (the belle in the Deep South) in a Chinese fashion magazine.

Summer! Biking! Pilsen! Rooftops! Elation!

On Thursday I biked to my internship in Pilsen. It was 80* and sunny and on the way back, incredibly windy. I went up the lakeshore path from 47th to 18th, and then got really confused trying to cross over Lakeshore Drive and the Metra tracks. Some nice runner ladies pointed me in the right direction. After you cross the Metra tracks, you're in this surreal place with castles, which turn out to be townhomes and the US Soccer Federation. Then, after some industry and a terrifying bridge made of metal grating, the river glinting below your lurching tires far below, you're in Pilsen. The tamales vendors smile and wave, mothers take their kids to school, stores are opening. By Damen, the street smells like tacos. Later in the day, I went for a walk to the park, bought some pastries at Central Bakery, developed my photos, bought ice cream, ate a salad outside in the sun. In the afternoon, I biked into a strong wind full of dust and blowing trash and "hola, guapa!" to Little Village, where I bought some incredible coconut water with pulp (from Thailand via Mexico) which was summer in a can, along with some chilis and granola, and sat on a front stoop talking and people-watching.

On the way home, I biked down Cermak to Halsted, and then took Halsted south to 31st St, where I passed what I think is the hill from photographer Paul Octavious's daily photo essay (he took a picture of some hill in Chicago every day for a year, photo above, found via Cup of Jo). Then through more blowing grit and a strange conversation at stoplights from a guy on a motorbike (my word for "not as loud as a motorcycle should be but didn't look like a moped") who just seemed to want to share his general elation. I went through Bridgeport and across the Drive onto a grueling ride into the wind down the path, where I got smoked by some guys in matching spandex uniforms and even, hilariously, by the pudgy one who brought up the rear. I blame this on having small tires. Even 53rd street was hopping; what used to be a generic movie rental place and was closed for a long time is now open as a garden shop with a hand-drawn sign. Adorable!

My roommates and I spent the night drinking on the roof, where we stayed for varying portions of the wee am hours. Yesterday afternoon I spent on the roof in the sun with more drinks (gin & tonics, strawberry daiquiris made with fresh strawberries!) and a rotating cast of passer-by friends. The buds on our front yard tree that had been closed shut the night before had little lime green filaments escaping out. We stayed up until sunset, watching the birds reeling out of the west and the streetlights turning everywhere below us a cozy summer orange, the sky turning purple, the clouds dividing the sky. Today it's raining, so it's back to the glowing rectangles and reams of papers for me.


I was reading blogs, specifically Bliss, and came across this cute skirt, which is part of Frei designs, sold super-sustainably in Chicago by designer Annie Novotny at her storefront Workshop, which is on 18th Street and I must have biked right past. This is from the Frei website, can you believe it?:

"Supporting healthy labor practices and environmental sustainability.

Made with carefully-chosen materials:
• 80% organic
• no agrochemicals
• fast-renewing resources
• low-impact or no-impact dying

Sewn in Chicago by workers who receive a fair and living wage.
Shipped using recycled materials"

And to keep it fashion-blog-esque, what I wore:

To work on Thursday, a green-ish gray corduroy knee-length A-line skirt that I made with my grandma probably when I was in early high school and have mended and patched countless times (perhaps the most worn and most versatile thing I own besides jeans), and a blue & yellow striped v-neck t-shirt that my grandma made me recently from a pattern I adapted from a dress (bodice & neckline lowered). I also brought a thin, long, (holey) mauve cardigan I got from Unique not long ago but only had to wear it for half the morning ride.

Thursday night on the roof: the shirt and some tight jeans that I bought at Unique and cut off at the knee, maroon suede bedazzled flats that I found in a free bin in my boyfriend's apartment building.

Friday, before I realized what a perfect day it was outside: jeans & piggly-wiggly tshirt. I have been offered $50 for this t-shirt after a show in Wrigleyville from a guy at a Taco Bell, and regret to this day having not sold it. I could always get another one for $5 at the grocery store back home. The Piggly-Wiggly also featured prominently in the conversation of the Dirty Hippies of Memphis, more information on that later.

Friday, after I realized it was a perfect day to make strawberry daiquiris and lounge on the roof: ragged old hand-me-down Abercrombie shorts, which are perfectly too big and threadbare, and a white eyelet camisole that I got from a roommate who was purging possessions. Blankets: my mom's floral comforter from high school, an unfinished piece of blue & black buffalo plaid wool that I liberated from grandma's fabric stash.

Today in the rain: pink Minnetonka moccasins I got at a thrift store, jeans, lacy pink cami from Unique, boyfriend's old threadbare blue and white striped buttondown.

Oh, and on Tuesday, I went to Village Discount in Pilsen, and got huraches from Brazil (which I'd been wanting since last summer) and are going to take some breaking-in, some Capezio dance shoes (practically new! magically comfortable stay-on-your-foot black heels, my work shoes for all the non-summer and non-snowing days), a textured off-white old Ralph Lauren scoopneck t-shirt, 3 children's books (only one of which I could bring myself to donate to the book drive I bought them for, the others are too gorgeously illustrated and strange to get rid off) and a 2008 planner featuring Japanese woodcut prints that I plan to cut out and use as postcards.

Duo Blog

Stumbled on a cute blog, Duo, with lots of ideas about how to reuse stuff. They have a nice balance between re-purposing ideas that strike me as kinda obvious, like use beer bottles and glass jars as vases and candle holders, and research about sustainable products that you might not think of buying eco-friendly, like eyeglasses and leather shoes.

Also, I love glass jars. They are among my favorite things.

Pic Unrelated

1. My friends from home send me lots of pictures from the internet and youtube videos of dumb stuff, but never cute puppies.
2. Today I made cilantro pesto pasta. Its merits are: uses up cilantro about to go bad in the fridge, some protein, alarming green color, somewhat sinus-clearing, good use for Magic Bullet.
3. I also cleaned my bathroom.
4. I also spent 3 hours in class, 1 hour meeting with a professor, and 3 hours annotating gaze.
5. I only had 2 1/2 hours of sleep last night.
6. I'm tormented by the dim memory of a song I heard last night in the coffee shop and had stuck in my head for hours, and now it is totally gone.

Hobbit Home!

I bookmarked this amazing hobbit-like home almost a year ago, and am returning to it as I think about making my underground living situation more cozy. This adorable family in Wales built it themselves (with the help of a father-in-law) as a low-impact, eco-friendly home. I think it's perfect. Now, if only I had a gorgeous circular tree-limb ceiling and curving plaster walls...

Summer Shoes

We've had a real Indian Summer in Chicago, but now that it's hot again I want some good sandals again. I started this post at the beginning of summer, but lost steam since I was, you know, wearing boots last night. I actually got the perfect pair of cool, cushy, strappy 70s reddish-leather sandals at Unique awhile ago, but after a week or so of sandal bliss a strap broke. I'll take them to the cobbler, but until then, I'll just be materialistic.

I have way more heels than I will ever wear and a few pairs of flats, but in terms of sandals I have only: some truly ugly turquoise rubber flip-flops with orange print on them, and some too-small red slides that say Hawaii in rainbow print on the white vinyl slide. My great-aunt gave them too me when I was visiting Wisconsin the other weekend and my good sandals broke. I had some worn-out fake suede flip-flops from Walmart that are approximately 1 mm thick on the bottom and wholly inappropriate for walking on concrete, but I lost one of them in the move. Pathetic.

I want:
espedrilles, I guess flat-ish ones, although I so like wedges. Found these on Etsy, although they were too small.
These are also on Etsy, and less cute, but the right size. Do I really need another pair of flats though?
Keds (from their Green collection) or similar simple cotton slip-ons. maybe in eyelet?

Huraches, or other flat sandals with so many straps that they are practically shoes. I found some perfect huraches at Unique but they were way too small. A co-worker has these from Urban Outfitters:and the same store also has these (somewhat boring) huraches, that I would be into if I was into Urban Outfitters. Which I'm not.

I really like flip flops that have a strap in the back. When I was in Egypt I bought some "Jesus sandals" that were great-looking but so flat that they were pretty painful to walk in. The leather soles also made them slippery. These next two are also Urban Outfitters.
Finally, I'd like to retire the plastic flip-flops, and trade them for a comfier, nicer-looking version, maybe Rainbows, that will give my feet some support. Last summer I found some Rainbows at the camp where I was staying with Zeb's family, but I was sure they belonged to someone else so I didn't take them. I found out later that they had been abandoned. Oh well.

Eco-friendly Shopping

I wanted to share three websites that are like the amazon.com of the green fashion world.

The Find Green (see my search for skinny leggings)
The Green Loop
Embodies

There's also the boutique Beklina, which is kinda pricey and hipster, but I still like.

Today I went to Target and managed to only buy contact solution, eye drops, honey mustard pretzels, and organic cotton sheets, so I am feeling pretty good about my sustainable purchasing resolution. I did my research on the sheets first though.

I totally wanted these:or these:
both from Pottery Barn, but they seemed kinda pricey and I doubt Zeb would have gone for the floral or outrageous patterns. There are incredibly mixed reviews for the Target sheets that I got but they seemed fairly reasonably priced, and feel nice and smooth. We will have to see if they pill or otherwise crap out on me after being washed.

Oh, and bonus, I biked to Target with a friend and it was a lovely day. We sat by the lake and ate ice cream and talked for a long time, and our dresses did the Marilyn Monroe thing.